Death to Corporate Drones (or - no pizza for the dedicated)

Everything is just a little bit harder here in Dubbakee.

I realize that being from Brooklyn, I sound incredibly NYC-centric and annoyingly snobbish, but the truth is, I think I figured out why everyone else in the world really does work 9-5 and not 7AM-to-whenever-you-drop-dead. Fact is, everywhere else in the world, you can't get your toenails painted at 8PM, your laundry done on a Sunday (that is, if you do laundry via drop-off), or, shit, get a fountain soda at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Witness:


These pieces of shit have a sandwich shop directly across the street from the Big City Office Building (1-2-3, everyone say 'oooooh'), so naturally, they close at 3PM.





These stupid fuckers have a pizza shop around the corner from a building full of Big Bad Corporate Cubicle People, so what do they do? They close at 4. On weekdays. Let me guess. They have to "pick up the kids".




And these shitbags.....I don't even know why they bother. I would THINK they would try and capitalize on the I-worked-late-honey-here's-some-Chinese-food, but nooooo.

Actually, come to think of it - I don't remember them EVER being open.


So, yeah. I figured out why everyone else in the world are lazy bastards that can't be bothered to stay late EVER. It's because if they don't leave RIGHT NOW, the fucking liquor store will close. For the weekend.